Mind Games
Without wishing to offend the big man, Sam Allardyce has never struck us as a master of mind games. However, he was bigging-up his mental capacity on Thursday as part of his ongoing bitch-fest with Rafa Benitez.
"I've managed to psyche out one or two here and there and that's how the Premiership has evolved over the last 20 years," boasted Sam.
"You do it to try to get your team in a position to get a result.
"I clearly get under his skin and that can be a benefit to my side when we play them."
Whichever psyche-out techniques Sam is using, Mediawatch would suggest he tries some new ones on Rafa, because his record against Liverpool with Blackburn, Newcastle and Bolton is not exactly favourable.
It reads thusly: Played; 10, Won; 2, Drawn; 2, Lost 6.
"It was a good cover-up by Rafa because he knows how bad his side were," Allardyce continued, discussing Blackburn's game at Anfield.
And yet Liverpool still managed to win 2-1. Doesn't say much for the old mind games or your team, does it Sam?
Strange Times
It's always a slightly curious thing when journalists start interviewing other journalists. Doesn't seem natural to us.
The Times went for this odd approach on their website yesterday, with a lowly lickspittle told to quiz football correspondent Oliver Kay about the big, massive, most important issue of the day - David Beckham wearing that Norwich scarf.
The headline of the piece was the eye-catching 'David Beckham bottled anti-Glazer issue'.
Oh really? However, Kay acutally said: 'It was great PR for Beckham to grab the scarf on his way off the pitch but to sit on the fence and avoid the issue of the Glazers' ownership afterwards was disappointing...'
Who's bottling things now, eh?
Uncle Andrey
Another terrific installment of Andrey Arshavin's Dr Phil-esque Q&A page to bring you now.
These need little comment, so here are the choice cuts from the latest round of questions:
'Question: Andrey, what do you think people need pain for?
'Arshavin: For people not to forget that they are mere mortals. Some people say that suffering purifies the soul.'
'Question: Does anybody go in for sports in your family?
'Arshavin: Me.'
'Question: Hi. I am 25 years old and I'm still not married. My parents are very upset about this. They say I can end up a spinster. But I don't want to get married yet. What shall I do? (Sorry if this is off topic; just want to know your opinion)
'Arshavin: I think I can help you.
'Step 1: You need to find a scruffy heavy drinker.
'Step 2: Once you've found him, try to persuade him to "marry" you. I think that for a small amount of money, he will agree to fulfill the role of your fiancé :)
'Final: Bring this guy home. Tell your parents he'll live with you ;)
'I think next time they will think better before forcing their opinion on you.'
We love Andrey.
Almost Too Good
Mediawatch often enjoys mocking those who have made erroneous predictions, but let's just take a moment for some eerily prescient stuff from Miguel Delaney of The Sunday Tribune.
He wrote on March 7: 'Real could well repeat their recent league performances and pepper Lyon to score...only to see Hugo Lloris keep out another 20 shots and someone like Miralem Pjanic hit them with another wonder goal late on the break to kill the contest. It's certainly a precarious scoreline.'
We're going to ask Miguel to dedicate his next column to an erotic adventure including Mediawatch, Salma Hayek and a bucket of chocolate sauce.
Exclusively Late
'Angry football fans yesterday accused ITV of trampling on the FA Cup Finals proud history by planning to move the traditional 3pm kick-off to 5.30pm. The FA and TV executives have held secret talks to shift the kick-off because ITV reckons it will pull in more viewers and so increase advertising revenue' - EXCLUSIVE! in The Daily Mirror, March 12.
'The plans being considered to revamp the struggling FA Cup include moving the showcase final to 5.30pm on Saturday to attract a bigger television audience. ITV controller of sport Niall Sloane has been keen on that switch since his previous role as head of football with the BBC, but always came up against blanket opposition from the traditionalists on the FA Cup committee' - The Daily Mail, March 10.
Quote Of The Day
"Yeah, your questions" - Alan Shearer misses the point of The Guardian's light-hearted 'Small Talk' feature when asked to tell a joke.
Let's All Have A Hug, Happy Story Of The Day
'Portsmouth's players have clubbed together to pay the wages of vital backroom staff who faced losing their jobs. Skipper Hermann Hreidarsson and keeper David James decided to set up a fighting fund to save some of the 85 staff axed by administrators at the bankrupt Premier League club. The players are reported to have chipped in £1,500 each to keep staff they say have helped them to the FA Cup semi-finals' - The Sun.
Stop That Hug And Start Being Sad Again Story Of The Day
'David James offered to pay the wages of TWO training ground staff made redundant from Portsmouth - but was turned down by the crisis club's administrator' - The Daily Mirror.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A sacked Cape Town prostitute yesterday had three Labour Appeal Court judges grappling with whether she was entitled to challenge her dismissal. "When dismissed you are made to stop with something criminal. But then you say 'please protect me from someone who is stopping me from doing something criminal' - it doesn't make sense to me," an exasperated Judge President Raymond Zondo asked Wim Trengove, who was representing "Kylie" in the landmark case. We are not fighting for the right to practise sex work, but the right to protection from unfair dismissal," argued Trengove. "Kylie", who was not present in court, and had since left the profession, worked in Brigitte's Massage Parlour in Cape Town from 1993 but was fired in April 2003. She was dismissed for apparently failing to do enough bookings, not managing her time, and for choosing specific clients' - The Sowetan.
Revolting Runner-Up
'A New York restaurant has gone from brasserie to brassiere. Chef Daniel Angerer is letting diners at Klee Brasserie in Manhattan munch on cheese made from his wife's breast milk. "It tastes like cow's milk cheese, kind of sweet," he said. The flavour depends on what the cheese is served with - Angerer recommends a Riesling - and "what the mother eats", said Angere. "Breast milk doesn't curdle well due to its low protein content, so a little moo juice has to be added to round out the texture.' - The Belfast Telegraph.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Terry Maloney and Gerry McGreevy. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
