Transfer Gossip

UNITED TO REPLACE RONALDO WITH...
The Gossip Column is told that some women find Cristiano Ronaldo to be a handsome young chap.

Who these women are we're not sure, as any lady we've asked has always scrunched their face up like they're chewing on a lemony wasp, but he seems to do alright for himself.

Anyway, as we told you yesterday there is strong talk that Ronaldo has already got himself a move to Real Madrid signed and sealed, so United will need a replacement.

And The News Of The World thinks that replacement will be one Franck Ribery.

Brilliant player, but talk about replacing beauty with the bloody ugly (and yes we know how he got that scar - he'd still be a rotter).

The paper reckons Ferguson will beat Barcelona to the signature, with the Catalans apparently already convinced that they have been gazumped.

In other unfortunately-scarred-but-still-ugly-classy-player news, the very same rag reports that Carlos Tevez will lower his wage demands in order to stay at Old Trafford.


CITEH GO IN FOR ETO'O
Not to be outdone by their fancypants neighbours, Manchester Citeh will no doubt be spunking cash all over the shop this summer.

And The Mail On Sunday reckons a fair amount of that cash will be flowing towards Barcelona, with them stumping up the thick end of £20million for Samuel Eto'o.

Stung by the failure to get Kaka earlier this season, the paper reports that Citeh will go all out to get their man, offering him £120,000-a-week wages.

And the path will apparently be clear for Citeh, with Liverpool having decided that he's just too pricey.

Incidentally, The Sunday Times reckons that Barca do want to sell Citeh a striker, but it's Thierry Henry, rather than Eto'o that they wish to offload.


BARCA GO FOR RVP
The Mail suggests that Barca will spend that £20million on either Ribery, David Villa or Sergio Aguero, but The Sunday People have other ideas.

They suggest that Pep and chums will spend £15million on one Robin van Persie instead, with the Arsenal striker uhmming and ahhing over a new contract, he might be tempted by a side that actually have a chance of winning something of note.

The People reckon that should RVP do one, Arsene Wenger has his eye on Gonzalo Higuain, one of the more underrated players in the world in the 'umble opinion of the Gossip Column.

Elsewhere among the hallowed pages of the People, they suggest that Wenger has a couple of other signings in mind.

One is the rather impressive youngster Jack Rodwell, who the paper suggest will set Arsenal back £12million, while he is also giving Demba Ba, a Senegalese striker currently playing for unlikely German success stories Hoffenheim, who will cost £10million.


MICKEY TO STAY?
Interesting stuff in The News Of The World. The paper reports that Mickey Owen has decided to stay at Newcastle, should they do the unlikely and remain in the Premier League.

And they have quotes to back it up. Sort of.

They quote a 'source close to' Owen as saying: "Michael's priority is still the same. He wants to help Newcastle to stay up.

"Everyone knows there is a mutual admiration between Alan and Michael and they are looking forward to working together for the rest of the season. Beyond that, time will tell. But Michael has a genuine affection for Newcastle and the fans and with Alan in charge I am sure that affection will grow even stronger."


CHELSEA WANT JOHNSON?
Weird one this.

The News Of The World claims that Chelsea will make a £5million bid for Middlesbrough's Adam Johnson.

Yeah, like we said - weird.


AND THE REST...
Man City striker Daniel Sturridge has paved the way for a summer exit by rejecting a final contract offer...Everton loan-signing Jo has eight games to save himself from another year of hell at Manchester City...Hull boss Phil Brown is planning a swoop for Man City's Darius Vassell and Tal Ben Haim...Dennis Wise is looking for a way back into management, with one eye on his boyhood idols QPR...Sunderland could tempt Fulham manager Roy Hodgson to move north this summer...Fulham want to bring Harry Kewell back to the Premier League...Wigan have targeted Dynamo Kiev striker Ismael Bangoura to replace Amr Zaki...Middlesbrough boss Gareth Southgate is making an ambitious move to sign Ghana's goal king Prince Tagoe...Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce is set to swoop for Egyptian star Ahmed Al-Muhammadi...Manchester United have lined up Bosnian striker Edin Dzeko as a £12m replacement for Carlos Tevez.